What follows are 100 insights and quotations gathered while reading Radical Candor by Kim Scott. They contain experiential lessons on leading teams with clarity, trust, and care.
- “Radical candor” is what happens when you put “care personally” and “challenge directly” together. Radical candor builds trust and opens the door for the kind of communication that helps you achieve the results you're aiming for. (9)
- The ultimate goal of Radical Candor is to achieve results collaboratively that you could never achieve individually. (75)
- Ultimately, bosses are responsible for results. They achieve these results not by doing all the work themselves, but by guiding the people on their teams (6).
- If you lead a big organization, you can't have a relationship with everyone, but you can really get to know the people who report directly to you. These relationships are core to your job. (7)
- To have a good relationship, you have to be your whole self and care about each person who works for you as a human being. It's not business; it is personal and deeply personal. I call this dimension “care personally”. (9)
- Your ability to build trusting human connections with the people who report directly to you will determine the quality of everything that follows. (8)
- When people trust you and believe you care about them, they are much more likely to 1) accept and act on your praise and criticism; 2) tell you what they really think about what you are doing well and, more importantly, not doing so well; 3) engage in the same behavior with one another, meaning less pushing the rock up the hill again and again; 4) embrace their role on the team; and 5) focus on getting results. (9)
- When radical candor is encouraged and supported by the boss, communication flows, resentments that have festered come to the surface and get resolved, and people begin to love not just their work, but whom they work with and where they work. (10)
- Work-life integration. The time you spend at work can be an expression of who you are as a human being, an enormous enrichment to your life, and a boon to your friends and family. (115)
- The phrase, "keep it professional," denies something essential. We are all human beings with human feelings, and, even at work, we need to be seen as such. (12)
- Managers who create a stable foundation for themselves are invariably more effective at building teams on which people can do the best work of their lives. (114)
- What we bring to work depends on our own health and well-being. (114)
- The importance of the simplest things, like thank-yous, are most often forgotten by bosses (...). Take a moment to say thank you. Do it in person, and do it in writing. Sometimes the thank you has more meaning in private, other times in public. (196)
- There can only be real trust when people feel free at work. (116)
- You already spend a lot of hours every day with your colleagues and direct reports. Use that time to build relationships. For the most part, it's better to use the time after work to keep yourself centered than to socialize with your work colleagues. (119)
- Trust is built on a consistent pattern of acting in good faith. It's a big mistake to assume too much trust too quickly (e.g. by prying into deeply personal questions when you barely know a person). (120)
- There are few things more damaging to human relationships than a sense of superiority. Just remember that being a boss is a job, not a value judgment. (12)
- Caring personally is an antidote to both robotic professionalism and managerial arrogance. Only when you actually care about the whole person with your full self can you build a relationship. (13)
- Challenging others and encouraging them to challenge you helps build trusting relationships because it shows 1) you care enough to point out both the things that aren't going well and those that are, and that 2) you are willing to admit when you're wrong and that you are committed to fixing mistakes that you or others have made. (14)
- In order to build a culture of Radically Candid guidance, you need to get, give, and encourage both praise and criticism. (129)
- Because challenging often involves disagreeing or saying no, this approach embraces conflict rather than avoiding it. (14)
- Guidance is the atomic building block of management, but it is profoundly uncomfortable for most people. (129)
- We undervalue the “emotional labor" of being the boss. (4)
- When you criticize someone without taking even two seconds to show you care, your guidance feels obnoxiously aggressive to the recipient. I regret to say that if you can't be radically candid, being obnoxiously aggressive is the second best thing you can do. Most people would rather work for a “competent asshole" than a “nice incompetent”. (25)
- Manipulatively insincere guidance happens when you don't care enough about a person to challenge directly. People give praise and criticism that is manipulatively insincere when they are too focused on being liked or think they can gain some sort of political advantage by being fake, or when they are just too tired to care or argue anymore. (30)
- Unfortunately, conventional wisdom and a lot of management advice pushes bosses to challenge less, rather than encouraging them to care more (...) Needless to say, this doesn't build trust between boss and direct report. (31)
- “Ruinous empathy” is responsible for the vast majority of management mistakes I've seen in my career. Most people want to avoid creating tension or discomfort at work. Ruinous empathy can also prevent the boss from asking for criticism. (32)
- When giving praise, investigate until you really understand who did what and why it was so great. Be as specific and thorough with praise as with criticism. Go deep into the details. (33)
- Start by getting feedback. In other words, not by dishing it out. Then, when you do start giving it, start with praise, not criticism. When you move on to criticism, make sure you understand where the perilous border between radical candor and obnoxious aggression is. (33)
- Bosses get radically candid guidance from their teams not merely by being open to criticism, but by actively soliciting it (...) Asking for criticism is a great way to build trust and strengthen your relationships. (34)
- Praise guides people in the right direction. It's just as important to let people know what to do more of as what to do less of. (35)
- Balance praise and criticism. Worry more about praise, less about criticism, but above all, be sincere. (35)
- Some professionals say you need to have a praise-to-criticism ratio of 3:1, 5:1, or even 7:1. Others advocate the "feedback sandwich"—opening and closing with praise, sticking some criticism in between. (35)
- Ask for criticism before giving it, and offer more praise than criticism. Be humble, helpful, offer guidance in person and immediately, offer praise in public, criticize in private, and don't personalize it. Make it clear that the problem is not due to some unfixable personality flaw. Share stories when you've been criticized for something similar. (38)
- People who are more concerned with getting to the right answer than with being right make the best bosses. (39)
- A good reaction to public criticism can be the very thing that establishes your credibility as a strong leader, and will help you build a culture of guidance. (131)
- Tell them you'd welcome “radical candor”, but you'd prefer “obnoxious aggression” to silence. (134)
- Being helpful is a great way to show that you care personally, and that the whole point of challenging directly is to be helpful. (139)
- Show, don't tell. The more clearly you show exactly what is good or bad, the more helpful your guidance will be. (139)
- By explicitly describing what was good or what was bad, you are helping a person do more of what is good and less of what is bad, and to see the difference. (140)
- When you're vague with praise, it is just as likely to leave a person feeling patronized. Specific praise helps the person and the team understand what success looks like. (251)
- Think about times that guidance has been most helpful to you, and offer in that spirit. (141)
- Give feedback immediately. If you wait too long to give guidance, everything about it gets harder (...). The best guidance I've gotten in my life generally happened in super-quick conversations. (141)
- It's vital to be able to correct somebody's work, to make a factual observation, or to have a debate in public. But criticizing a person should be done in private. Praise in public, criticize in private. (145)
- Blaming people's internal essence rather than their external behavior leaves no room for change. (27). Say, “that's wrong,” not “you are wrong.” (146)
- If you find you cannot be radically candid with your boss, I recommend that you consider finding a new job with a new boss. Protect yourself. (151)
- Criticism is a gift, and you need to give it in equal measure to your male and female direct reports. (153)
- Never let one person on your team talk to you about another behind their back (...). Instead, insist that they talk directly to each other without you. (165)
- Soliciting guidance, especially criticism, is not something you do once and check off your list. This will now be something you do daily. (228)
- There is an important order of operations to Radical Candor: 1) solicit criticism. 2) give praise. 3) give criticism. 4) gauge the criticism and adjust. 5) encourage praise and criticism between others. (238)
- As people at all levels of the organization realize giving honest feedback is safe and even encouraged, a virtuous cycle ensues, producing teams that function at a remarkably high level. (240)
- When someone offers you criticism, they are taking a risk. It's your job to make sure they are rewarded for taking that risk, or they won't do it again. We've found the best way to reward valuable feedback is to address the problem quickly or explain clearly why you can't and seek a work around. (247)
- You can build a team where everyone loves their job and loves working together if you create growth management plans for each person who works for you once a year, hire the right people, fire the appropriate people, promote the right people, and reward the people who are doing great work but who shouldn't be promoted, and offer yourself as a partner to your direct reports. (198)
- Gradual growth is characterized by stability. People on a gradual growth trajectory, who perform well, have generally mastered their work and are making incremental rather than sudden, dramatic improvements. (49)
- People in a superstar phase are bad at rock star roles, and people in a rock star phase will hate a superstar role. (49)
- Insisting that people have passion for their job can place unnecessary pressure on both boss and employee (...) Tedium is part of life. (50)
- Your job is not to provide purpose, but instead to get to know each of your direct reports well enough to understand how each one derives meaning from their work. (51)
- Managers often devote more time to those who are struggling than to those who are succeeding. But that's not fair to those who are succeeding, nor is it good for the team as a whole. (53)
- We all have periods in our life when our professional growth speeds up or slows down. Recreation is essential for creation. We all need a bit of both growth and stability in our lives and on our team. (55)
- Write growth plans. Come up with a 3- to 5-bullet-point growth plan for each person. (183)
- Helping people clarify values and dreams and then aligning them as closely as possible with their current work will invariably make your team stronger. (181)
- Having annual “career conversations” is also an excellent way to strengthen your relationships with each person who reports directly to you. (121)
- Make sure that you are seeing each person on your team with fresh eyes every day. People evolve, and so your relationships must evolve with them. Care personally, don't put people in boxes and leave them there. (74)
- Assuming that you are surrounded with people who don't hesitate to challenge what you say, stating it clearly can be the fastest way to get to the best answer. (85)
- If you are not dying to hire somebody, don't make an offer. (189)
- Ask potential candidates to do a project or solve a problem related to the job they are applying for. This will weed out a number of candidates who look good on paper but can't actually do the work. (187)
- Retaining people who are doing bad work penalizes the people doing excellent work. (70)
- There are four very good reasons to push yourself to identify underperformance early: to be fair to the person who's failing, to be fair to your company, to be fair to yourself, and to be fair to the people who are performing really well. (191)
- For too many bosses, “recognition” means “promotion”. But in most cases, this is a big mistake. Promotion often puts these people in roles they are not as well-suited for or don't want. The key is to recognize their contribution in other ways. It might be a bonus or a raise. Or if they like public speaking, get them to present at your all-hands meeting or other big events. If they like teaching, get them to help new people learn their roles faster. (56)
- Generally, people who are great at a job enjoy teaching it to others. Giving them this role can not only improve the performance of the whole team, but also give the rock stars a different sort of recognition. (57)
- Part of building a cohesive team is to create a culture that recognizes and rewards the rock stars. I'm afraid for most of my career I treated them like second-class citizens. (59). Don't give all the glory to the superstars. (195)
- A way to highlight how great people are at a job is to acknowledge them as gurus in their area of expertise. (196)
- Few things can create a sense of injustice on a team like having a boss who promotes based on favoritism, or a manager who promotes people much faster than the manager sitting in the next office. (193)
- I recommend setting up a weekly "big debate" meeting, but be clear when the debate will end. (96)
- If you skip the debate phase, you will make the worst decision, you’ll be unable to persuade everyone who needs to execute, and you'll ultimately slow down or grind to a halt. (93)
- Too many bosses think the role is to turn it off, to avoid all the friction by simply making a decision and sparing the team the pain of debate. It's not. Debate takes time and requires emotional energy, but lack of debate saps the team of more time and emotional energy in the long run. (94)
- Keep the conversation focused on ideas, not egos. Nothing is a bigger time-sucker or blocker to getting it right than ego. (94)
- Another way to help people search for the best answer in a meeting instead of seeking ego-validation is to make them switch roles. (95)
- Sometimes, creating a culture of listening is simply a matter of managing meetings the right way (...) Part of my job was to constantly figure out new ways to “give the quiet ones a voice”. (88)
- Part of your job as the boss is to help people think through their ideas before submitting them to the rough-and-tumble of debate. (90)
- [In the decision meetings] push decisions into the facts, or pull the facts into decisions, but keep ego out. (97)
- Check egos at the door. No winners or losers. The product of “big decision” meetings is a careful summary of the meetings distributed to all relevant parties. (213)
- Meeting proliferation can indeed bring to a grinding halt your ability to execute both as an individual and as a team. Fighting meeting proliferation and making sure your team has time to execute is one of the most important things you can do as a boss. (216). Block time to think, and hold that time sacred. (209)
- A clear decision-making process empowers people closest to the facts to make as many decisions as possible. (99)
- The decider should get facts, not recommendations. Also, when you are the decider, it's really important to go to the source of the facts. (100)
- Authoritarian bosses tend to be particularly weak persuaders; they don't feel a need to explain the decision or their logic—'Just do it, don't question me!' (101)
- You need to learn to toggle between leading and executing personally. Don't abandon the first for the second. Integrate the two. (106)
- One of your jobs as a manager is to make sure that collaborative tasks don't consume so much of your time or your team's time that there's no time to execute whatever plan has been decided on and accepted. Block time to execute. (107)
- Clarity. Choosing what to select, what to eliminate, and what to emphasize depends not only on the idea, but on the audience. (93)
- The whole point of performance reviews is to demonstrate to employees that you are committed to maintaining a fair system for compensating their work, and that doing so is an integral part of achieving the company's mission. (262)
- Solicit feedback on yourself first. Asking each of my direct reports to give me a performance review before I gave them one was helpful. (162)
- Requiring 360 reviews is one of the most effective things any organization can do to make sure that a manager's subjective point of view does not create favoritism or allow unfair/suboptimal allocation of resources. (275)
- Avoid absentee management and micromanagement. One of the best ways to keep the people on your team engaged is by partnering actively with them. (197)
- One-to-one conversations are your must-do meetings, your single best opportunity to listen—really listen—to the people on your team to make sure you understand their perspective on what's working and what's not working. (200)
- Ignoring emotions makes the other person feel invisible or invalidated. Not a good way to show you care. (254)
- Adding your guilt to other people's difficult emotions doesn't make them feel better (...). Their upset might have nothing to do with you. Focus on them, not on yourself. (126)
- A team's culture has an enormous impact on its results, and a leader's personality has a huge impact on a team's culture. Who you are as a human being impacts your team's culture enormously. (220)
- In some ways, becoming a boss is like getting arrested. Everything you say or you do can and will be used against you. (221)
- The “flat” organization is a myth. Hierarchy is an inescapable fact of life. The best way to lower the barriers that hierarchy puts between us is to admit that it exists and think of ways to make sure everyone feels they are on an equal footing at a human level despite the structure. To make sure everyone feels free to “speak truth to power”. (168)
- The only thing worse than tyranny is anarchy, which is, as Hobbes puts it in Leviathan, "nasty, brutish, and short." In anarchy, bullies get away with optimizing for their narrow self-interest and the overall results are often nonexistent. (117)
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